I have commitment issues with my writing. I pretend to write novels and short stories, the former more than the latter because I can’t seem to find an idea that can be worked out in a small number of pages. I am actually quite jealous of those who can; although perhaps half of them would say the same thing about me. I have successfully finished one short story in the past, oh I don’t know, five years. *gasp* Since the last one, I have written 2 full-length novels and 4 partial ones. But the big question is: when will I ever finish a second draft of the novels?
At this rate, never. I have commitment issues. I get excited about an idea, plot it out, write, and then it fizzles out because I get “writer’s block,” aka. the something-isn’t-working-but-I-can’t-figure-out-what-so-I-move-on-to-something-else black hole. Smarty Pants (remember him?) puts me through Smarty Pants Boot Camp, which means staring me down and making me write. The second my eyes wander to the cute toddler stumbling around Starbucks, or the throng of teenagers that breeze past us, he taps my notebook and says, eyebrows furrowed, “Get to work.” I get to work. . .and write fifty words in an hour. The next time I see him and he asks how the writing’s going, I inform him with a frown, “It isn’t going to work. But hey, I have this great idea for a new story!” With a big grin plastered to my face, I thrown in for good measure, “I’ll start working on that. I’m really excited about this one. I can’t wait to finish it!” One of these days, he’s going to catch on.
I can’t commit to these stories. Not because they’re terrible and not worth anyone’s time even if I finished them, but because I get stuck and don’t have the patience to work it out. It baffles me. I need to sit my butt in a chair and rework them until I’m back on track. I don’t know how many partially filled notebooks I have since I start a new one for almost every new story. I need to finish these novels if only to make it a little easier on my finances.
Venting is now over. While I struggle through my commitment issues, I’ll continue to read Austen’s novels for you guys. Which brings me to another point, I might not have Pride and Prejudice done by Thursday. I sort of immersed myself in a K-drama over the weekend, and then there’s that whole World Cup thing that’s taking up the other half of my life. I’ll do my very best, though! After all, I know how much you guys look forward to reading my thoughts on her books.
P.S. If any of you have suggestions on how to work through my commitment issues, please let me know. I’m currently residing in a pit of despair and disappointment. As much as I love the uninterrupted self-loathing, I’d much rather be a writing fiend for a week. That’s all I ask.