For my return to the blogging world, I thought I would do something different. I would treat you guys to two of the worst sentences I have read in my 2015 NaNoWriMo novel. I’m still working on the first read-through, but as it is, I don’t think they could get much worse than these. Please enjoy as I willingly embarrass myself in public.
“The enormity of how lucky he was hit him like he was swept up onto a flying carpet.”
*I would love to say I had watched Aladdin recently and had myself been swept up onto a flying carpet of awesome metaphors and similes, but alas that would be lying. As you can tell, my simile was…less than perfect. This was the one that had me crying at Starbucks because I was laughing so much.*
“He couldn’t do one for very long before he had to do something else.”
*At the risk of being too optimistic, I’m going to say that this one isn’t nearly as bad as the first? I’m wrong? Yeah, you’re probably right. In this scene, the main character was going back and forth between pacing and sitting in a sore attempt at patience. Obviously he couldn’t do one for very long…what? It is what it is.*
I don’t usually share these “learning experiences” with others because, let’s face it, they’re embarrassing. I’ve come to realize, however, that we all have bad sentences. We can’t run or hide from them. So in my attempt to embrace the bad with the good in my writing, I’ve now assaulted all of you with bad writing. I’m sorry for that but doesn’t it make you happier with your own writing? At least you now know there’s someone else out there who can’t put words together on paper nine times out of ten.
Happy writing, y’all!