I’ve said this before–nighttime is when my thoughts start spinning; overthinking and worrying ramp up. Tonight is no different.
Sometimes, I manage to fall asleep easily, but I keep busy either engrossed in a tv show, a book, or drawing until I’m too exhausted to keep my eyes open. I don’t want to think.
I know I’m not the only one.
This world is topsy turvy. 2020 isn’t the year for anyone. Many things have disrupted my plans for the year and have left me wondering exactly when it will all calm down.
- My dad is diagnosed with cancer and needs surgery.
- Three weeks later coronavirus lockdown.
- Protests, riots, looting etc.
- Explosion in Beirut where half my family lives.
- Two family members with coronavirus.
- More violence.
Do you know what I want to do?
Cry.
Perhaps I’m too empathetic to handle society these days. If you’re anything like me, you see what’s going on and feel all the anger and the pain. Doesn’t matter who it is; you feel it.
It hurts you. It hurts them even more.
The world is screaming with pain. It’s everywhere you look. Where can refuge and peace be found? Where can someone go for a moment’s rest?
You can try to drown it out, but it’s still there. You’ll remember when night comes and you’re waiting for sleep to find you, or when you open social media apps for a second. It only takes a second.
The pain has to stop, but you’re only one person. What can you do?
Start at home. You can’t help anyone if you’re paralyzed from anxiety, fear, or suffering of your own. It’s like they say on airplanes–assist yourself before assisting others.
Find a way to calm your mind. Whatever that might be. I read, draw, watch Kdramas, and write stream-of-consciousness journal entries then delete them.
Please take care of yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and grace. Treat others the same way. Maybe then you’ll ease their pain even if only a little.
I don’t know much, but I know things are hard. I pray you all find some hope and some peace in your world.
Drop an email if you’d like. As Frasier (btw, funny show!) says, I’m listening.
Taking the Waters 